Why They Follow You
by mattgerrard
Summary: What would you go to the gates of Hell for? A better question is, for whom? This is a more awkward, slightly funny re-imagining of the first romance scene with Shepard and Miranda. It takes place just after Tali's loyalty mission, and shortly after Miranda's.


_Spoilers ahead for those who haven't played _Mass Effect 2_._

_This scene takes place just after Tali's loyalty mission, and shortly after Miranda's. Miranda saved her sister and met her. Shepard made an impassioned speech for Tali and the Admiralty ruled in her favor._

After they returned, word got around about how Shepard stood up for Tali in front of the ruling government of the Quarian fleet. Garrus even downloaded the recording from Shepard's helmet camera and showed it to some of the officers. Tali was embarrassed but in a good way. Shepard told them to erase it, with some thanks and appreciation. They left the Quarians and headed for the nearest refueling station. They had a long way to go on FTL to reach the mass relay that would take them back to Ilium.

Later that night, Miranda and Shepard were in the briefing room looking at a map of the galaxy, figuring out their next move. He periodically worked his shoulder in circles. Some of the geth had hit him with heavy rounds. His ears still rung. His shoulder and some of this other joints felt out of whack.

After three hours of planning through strategy and countermeasures, Shepard finally yawned, and Miranda joined him. He laughed. "All right. I'd say we've both had enough for one day." He checked their position. "What time do we hit the mass relay?"

"About 0900 tomorrow morning."

"Perfect. Time for sleep and some coffee."

"Even a workout."

"You work out. I'm taking a rest day."

"I'm surprised you're not taking a week."

He chuckled. "Long-ass day. God, I hate politics."

"Shooting geth doesn't bother you."

"Nope. That never gets old."

"I saw your speech. For a man who hates politics, you did a pretty good job."

He rolled his eyes. "You saw it too?"

"I was the first one who did. I came here to check ship movements, and I found Garrus swearing at the console. If I hadn't helped him he probably would have botched the job."

"And now half the crew's seen it."

"Yeah, well. Sorry about that. But like I said, good speech. You had me wanting to yell, 'Set her free!'"

Shepard smiled. "That's... it wasn't a speech. I just said how I felt about her. What she did for us. It was the truth."

Miranda gave him a long look. He liked looking at her eyes, but Shepard felt like he was under a magnifying glass. Or a biotic thought scan.

"What?"

"I think that's what makes people want to follow you. You'd go to the gates of Hell and back for your people. They'd do the same for you."

Shepard didn't want to mention that soon, that was exactly what he would ask them to do. "Thanks. And thank you for making it possible. I never could have gotten here without you."

Miranda shook her head. "I can't take credit for that."

"The hell you can't. If it wasn't for you I would have dug my implants out of my skin with my fingers in the first week after I woke up. Put a knife through my own neck. One and done." He made a gesture of slashing his own throat. Miranda's mouth fell open. "It's the truth. I didn't look at mirrors. I couldn't stand seeing those wires under my skin. At night I dreamed I was a geth program pretending to be Shepard. But you're just so... solid. That's what I held on to. 'Miranda believes it. Trust her.'"

"I thought you didn't trust me. Before."

"I didn't. That's the one part of you that I did trust. I guess you won me over."

Miranda smiled at him. "That really means a lot. We've come a long way, you and I."

She did have one fantastic smile. Shepard caught himself staring at her eyes.

Then she sighed. "I do wish I had that passionate resolve of yours."

"What do you mean? You're the most committed member of the team. Ever wonder why you always draw the short straw when we've got a high-stakes mission?"

"I don't have what it takes to do what you do."

"Now I really don't understand."

"Look. In the field, I'm great. I can do it all. I'm superior, physically and intellectually. But I don't own any of that. Hell, sometimes I'm ashamed of it. You are who you are. Even the bad shit that's happened to you, you overcame it. It made you stronger. I was my father's experiment and he succeeded." She held her hands up to her face. "Even how I look. Nothing that I've done is mine."

"Hey! Miri... hey." He leaned toward her. "None of us asks to be born. We all have someone else's genes. You made your own decisions. Everything you accomplished is something you did. You're a kickass field operative and you see the angles better than anybody."

"But it's not enough to be good, is it? There are crack shots and good hacks and scientists who could throw us across the galaxy if you shot their brains full of enough element zero." She tapped the table. Then she zoomed in on the Omega 4 relay. It glared at them like a demonic red eye. Its glow turned the room crimson. "This is what keeps me up at night, Shepard. Being good won't be enough to beat what's on the other side of this relay."

Shepard stood next to her. He stared into the image. It felt like they were the only two people who stood between its horrors, and the rest of the galaxy. "You're right." He wiped the image off.

With the evil image gone, Shepard realized he was probably standing closer to Miranda than a fellow officer should. He wanted to take her hand.

Shepard stepped back. He continued, "People on this ship don't follow you because you're good, Miri. They follow you because they trust you. That you're going to bring them home. Jack's good. Zaheed's good. Hell... Grunt's good." She laughed. "But people don't follow them."

"They don't follow me because I'm good. They do because I've got the Illusive Man behind me."

"Wrong. Have you ever asked them why they're here?"

Miranda became still. She shook her head slowly. "I thought, I was in command, and I'd talk to them when it was necessary."

"Tomorrow, you'll have the ship while I go to meet the justicar on Ilium. Take a walk around. Say you're there to check in on how things are going. Then ask why they're here. Just about all of them are here because they think Cerberus is doing more good for Earth than the Alliance."

"Well, I believe that."

"I know that. So do you. Right now, they're taking how you feel about it on faith. Show it to them, though, and they'll follow you anywhere."

"Even where we're going?"

"If you want them to follow you to the gates of Hell, let them know you care about them." She started to roll her eyes. "I'm not talking all touchy-feely-let's-have-a-group-hug care about them. I mean you have to care about more than the mission. Things like getting them home, and protecting their kids. People will kill for money, but they'll only die for what they love." He took her hand. "I saw the look in your eyes when you went to talk to your sister. You know what I'm talking about."

She nodded, looking at their hands. "I'd do anything to keep her safe." She gripped his hand. He was in awe of her strength, inside.

When she looked up, Shepard lost all words. He didn't want to let go of her hand. Shepard, the man who stopped the Reapers, felt his heart jump into his throat.

"Why'd you call me 'Miri'?" she asked.

"I... that's what your sister called you... I wanted to stop calling you 'Miranda.'"

She rubbed her thumb over his hand. He caressed hers back. Shepard's mind swam. To him, it hadn't been that long since Ashley held his hand like this. It felt too soon, but Ash was gone. He liked being this close to her. He didn't want to be anywhere else. Shepard thought about proper officer conduct, too, but that horse pretty much left the barn.

Come on, John...

Shepard squeezed her hand. He let go. Miranda did, too. They tried to look casual, but they both made a mess of it. "I... uh... need to get some sleep. I'll see you in the morning."

"Yes. Of course."

Miranda gathered up her notes. Shepard wanted to gather his, but he'd have to reach past her to do it, and he didn't trust himself to do that without taking her in his arms.

She faced him. "Commander," she said, nodding. Miranda looked like she was trying not to smile. He was between her and the door.

"G'night, Miranda." He stepped aside.

She brushed his arm as she walked by. Shepard held his breath. Her touch felt like an electrical charge crackled all over his skin.

As the door closed, Shepard rubbed his arms. He still had gooseflesh. "Wow," he said. This coming from the guy who made the speech of the day.


End file.
